Sanjay Paul (1992-2022)

Do you know how it feels when you lose a friend?
A friend who was dear to you when you became friends
A friend who became one of the dearests
With every passing year
In the last twelve years.

There is an invisible weight that pulls you down
You run away from his absence
But his ghosts walks with you
You turn away your eyes from the reality
But deep within you all memories rush through

Do you know how it feels when you lose a friend?
A friend who was there through thick and thin
Through marriages and heartbreaks
Through deaths and births
In the last one hundred and twenty months

There is a pall of haze covering your memories
He takes away with him his piece of jigsaw puzzle
A piece that fits perfectly with all your memories
The memories of joys, the griefs, the rage, the calm
Of love and heartbreak, of tears and smiles

Do you know how it feels when you lose a friend?
A friend who was more of a family
A family that you had chosen
Every single day
In the last four thousand two hundred and forty days.

There is a deafening silence all around you
You yell at him, at yourself and the world
But nothing is heard
You close your ears to the humdrum of the world
But all you hear is the shared laughter with him

Thirty is a cruel age

At thirty you start to see your world ageing,
The wrinkles of the world taking in people around you
The ailing relative
The ageing aunt
The lonely uncle
Death catches up with all of them

Thirty is a cruel age
But it gets the cruelest
When it takes away a dearest friend of yours
The cruelest when it took you away Sanjay.