haphazard

Messed up! Confused! Where am i heading? Where do i want to go?  Was it really a big deal? Did i do something wrong?  Circumstances change , situations differ, people change, their colors alter. feeling like banging my head against the wall. there is a void , there is a need , demands to meet , feelings to treat . who is going to heal the pain, without any reason without ant gain? there is crowd around still life is empty. something is missing , can't see it anywhere, got to search it, in shanty places, in Arabian sands, snowy arctic, bouldery mountains. a long road resting in front of me peace and calm untraveled since ages, can't muster courage to trod alone. flowers have died off. leaves have fallen, world is vacant air is dry, darkness is thickening , soil is soggy , i can see my end , i am encountering my decease